As bed sharing becomes a normalized practice in many Asian societies, experts unveil the significant cultural, social, and practical implications tied to this parenting choice, contrasting it with Western views.
Bed Sharing Across Cultures: A Look Inside Asian Family Dynamics
Bed Sharing Across Cultures: A Look Inside Asian Family Dynamics
In Asia, bed sharing with children is common and culturally accepted, differing sharply from perspectives in Western nations.
In many Asian countries, the practice of bed sharing—where parents and children sleep in the same bed—is viewed as a natural part of family life, in stark contrast to perspectives in the United States and other Western nations, where it remains contentious. In the East, the focus is often on the bond and attachment it fosters, with parents more concerned about when to transition to independent sleeping rather than if they should share a bed at all.
Bed sharing can significantly influence a child's safety and developmental trajectory and affects the mental and emotional wellness of parents as well. In Seoul, for instance, many parents choose this practice to maintain a close connection with their children, as articulated by Inae Kim, a Seoul-based mother who shares a large bed with her husband and their young daughters, ages 5 and 7. Memories of these fleeting moments are cherished as parents aim to huddle close to their children while they still can.
Surveys have shown that bed sharing is substantially more prevalent in Asian cultures, with rates soaring over 60% in countries like South Korea, Japan, and China, and exceeding 70% in India and parts of Southeast Asia. This contrasts with rates of only 5% to 15% in Australia and the U.S.—though recent research suggests that these numbers might be underreported in the West, primarily due to the cultural stigmas surrounding bed sharing.
The motivations behind bed sharing in these Asian households often diverge: some parents face practical constraints. High-rise living in metropolitan areas of South Korea can restrict space, while cramped apartments in Hong Kong make it challenging to maintain separate sleeping quarters for children. Others cite cultural imperatives; for instance, many parents prioritize the emotional bonds fostered through close sleeping arrangements over potential disadvantages.
In India, for example, the tradition of bed sharing remains robust, influencing even the urban elite who are exposed to Western parenting ideals. Sleep specialists illustrate that many Indian parents intent on bed sharing feel isolated abroad, unable to find similar sentiments shared within the dominating sleep training culture.
Singapore presents an interesting case where, despite its wealth and modernity, families appear to embrace both bed sharing and the burgeoning trend of sleep training. Some parents express guilt regarding bed sharing, highlighting the societal pressures they navigate. As Ho Kin Ing explains, she and her husband grappled with expectations while ultimately valuing the emotional connections forged by sharing their bed with their young daughters.
Shifts in sleeping arrangements can be complex, with societal norms shaping parental behavior significantly. In East Asian cultures, for some, opting out of bed sharing can appear as a failure of maternal responsibility, contributing to anxieties around personal parenting choices.
As parents contemplate their children’s continued reliance on shared sleeping spaces, they must navigate discussions of comfort, safety, and the evolving dynamics within familial relationships. The transition point into independent sleeping becomes not just a logistical decision, but also an emotional negotiation shaped by love, commitment, and a host of cultural contexts.
